So hard to let go. . .

Today was an amazingly hard day. I woke up okay, and the next thing I know, I have created this avalanche of unpleastness that I cannot let go of. I turn to the right, it is wrong. I turn to the left and it's not right either. I am consumed with myself and how I have been wronged, by everyone. I am misunderstood and insecure, unsure of everything. It's one of those days when I call my Mother and I still don't quite feel better. So, I corner a good friend and I cry and scream. These dramatic acts offer some form of release, but I still stood in the midst of the storm. I still continued to fester on the all the missed opportunities I had had because I was not present enough to be a part of them. I cannot even attempt to try and do something good for myself. Don't tell me to breathe, do not tell me to be the bigger person, I cannot let go. I cannot appreciate the snow, I am too busy trying to survive the weather.